As parents, we want what is best for our children. Or, at least, what we think is best for them. And what we almost always want for them is success. But wanting success for our children, even when our desire for their success comes from love and our concern for their welfare, is not the same thing as truly believing in them.
Believing in our children involves having wholehearted trust and faith in them—even when their road is rough, or their choices are. . . shall we say, unexpected. It means understanding that they’re not going to be immediately successful at everything they try—and that ultimately this is, in fact, a very good thing, because without struggle, there is no growth. It means supporting kids as they find and follow their passions, celebrating their triumphs with them, but also being there for them as they pick themselves up after setbacks. It means lovingly standing by and trusting them to handle adversity, instead of jumping in to handle it for them. It’s how we teach our kids not to fear failure–that they have what it takes to recover and grow from it. That they can trust themselves.
When I chose the 70 entrepreneurs to interview for my book, I chose a diverse group, both in terms of inputs— gender, race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, family income, family size and structure, parents’ education, their own education, where they’d grown up—and outcomes—I wanted them to have started big companies, small companies, non-profits, or profits-for-purpose, or to be artists, or activists. Given all these differences, I wondered if I’d find any common threads.
To my amazement, everyone came from a family that conveyed the same message: We support you; we believe in you; follow your passion. Sometimes following through on that message required a big gulp, or even a leap of faith. But every parent said it. And meant it.
Maybe you’re thinking: That’s not so unusual—all parents believe in their children. But that’s not true. All parents love their children. That’s not the same thing as truly believing in them—as truly trusting them.
Fearless kids who are doing what they love most— following their hearts, rather than trying to please their parents or anyone else—are poised to have great adventures. They’re also getting the best kind of training for making the world a better place. Parents should let go of their anxieties about their kids’ future, and encourage them to pursue their passion with all they’ve got. If so, maybe something great will happen. Something great for them and, possibly, something great for the world.
